It has become abundantly clear to me that contentment resides solely in working, and being worked, to the absolute utmost of one’s cognitive, physical, and emotional capabilities. At least in my limited experience, only with extreme difficulty can these conditions obtain as an emergent phenomenon of self-imposition. Others— “community,” witnesses, audience, clients— an other, of obligation and expectation— are required to establish the proper suspension of oneself between the present and the future, and then to winch it tight.
In lieu of contentment, there are little treats:
Sushi grade salmon. On days in the [redacted] office, one might go to the fish market nearby and for approx. $10, have the next two meals sorted. I make hand rolls with wakame salad, seaweed sheets, and tamari.
Good makeup brushes. One only needs one or two, and to wash them regularly. I like the Rose & Ben Beauty C41, CHANEL brushes, and Shiseido brushes for eyeliner.
Palestrina. I have compiled six albums of Palestrina compositions recorded by early music vocal group The Sixteen into a Spotify playlist that runs continually. It helps to have multiple speakers that do well with the dimensionality human voice in space.
CHANEL Rouge Allure Liquid Powder Lipstick. Recently I’ve desired a red lip but neither the hazard of a bullet lipstick nor the dehydration of a liquid lipstick. This substance, a paste-like mousse that dries to a powder, is the harmonious medium. All colors in the range have moronic names; I like best the shade 965 Invincible, a bluish-red. Possibly this product has been discontinued. As it debuted at the cusp of the west’s obsession with “k-beauty,” the effect is likely replicable with an actual Korean product.
Green juice. As the Californication of the nation proceeds apace, I, not one to drink my calories, am coming to enjoy the habit of juices. The best ones have no sweetener and extra ginger; the effect is “spicy grass.”
Sprints. 200m intervals for 4-6 laps. I do not go faster (yet) in hopes of keeping my love of distance at bay for another quarter.
Heavy hip thrusts. My gym rarely affords the space to use a bar for these, but since it has acquired a machine, I now aim to achieve 300lbs. by April. Attaining this seems reasonable given my current level of leg and glute strength. I find this exercise, like other heavy posterior-chain lifts, to be very calming.